I predict the worst situation that I might having. But I don't know it would be that bad. Yes, I told myself I'm strong enough to take it. And I will be. But it's just takes me some times to reach there. And I need to figure it out how.
I was shocked and stunned. What am I suppose to do the next? I just automatically pause here. Stand at no way. Mood messed up. I screwed up my life. Am I not trying my best? Am i just way too stupid?
Such a huge blow. It's really affected my life a lots. Are this all arranged by GOD? A punishment? or a big challenge to me? I wanted to fight on. But I'm scared, terrified. I've been trained to turn all the awful, bad things in my life off. I always run from those. Afraid of all those things. But i still can't escape. Still happened and ruin my life again. I hate it.
ashamed? feel so hurt. I thought it's not a big deal. But it is.
I still wanna run from this cruel reality...... Please my GOD, helps me! i have to be strong enough to face it. I need the spirit! i need the powers to overcomes...
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